last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
