this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
