tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
