He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
