Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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