are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she told me i tasted like america
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize