goodnight i made you a song goodbye
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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