i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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