When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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