dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Let's get the cat blown out
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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