Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
