i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
