Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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