I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am naked and annoyed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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