this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
