best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
