Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
