didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
