I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
