So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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