How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
