And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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