chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize