Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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