Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
