their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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