areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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