She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
