remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize