i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize