3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
In America we eat man semen.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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