Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
