One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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