I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
