so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
