Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
