Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
