It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Holy shit dude........stairs
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize