what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
babies were throwing up all over the place
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
