about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize