I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
