my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
