i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize