It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
