She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
