She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
