Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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