Me. At least after what I've been through.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
