I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
