I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize