Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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