I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
