haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
