so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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