She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
