We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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