What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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