he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
