It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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