Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
