It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize