it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
