tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
