I think I died a long time ago.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
