His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize