just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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