Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
