is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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