I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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